Second Wives notes

Second Wives (and others who allied with divorced people paying child support) take note: your freedoms are at risk in the US. If you believe that you have a right to be free from extortion and blackmail in the matter of payment of child support, please take a few moments to write, phone, e-mail or otherwise contact your elected officials regarding the case of Patricia Hill.

This is an excerpt of the letter I wrote:

“I am writing this message to express my deep disappointment in the Department of Justice’s prosecution of Patricia Hill (CR99-60010) in Federal Court for accessory after the fact and harboring a fugitive. In a time when the institution of marriage is under threat, the government should be doing all it can to strengthen marriage, not destroy it.

The present administration is already responsible for enacting legislation that does not do justice to the parents who try to comply with the child support rulings made against them. In some cases, the judgments made against them are driving parents to poverty and virtually forcing them into an underground economy in order to support themselves.

If the government is successful with this case on appeal, all second wives, and family members of child support obligator will be at risk for prosecution in federal court. Any family member who is not directly related to the child receiving the support should NOT be held accountable for their support and maintenance. This type of tactic only serves to expand the power of the government in putting pressure on parents who owe back child support. The government does not recognize hardships it imposes on the parent responsible for support payments when these circumstances arise. If the administration succeeds in this case, I feel it would be a form of legalized extortion and blackmail.”

I specifically requested that President direct Janet Reno to drop the appeal immediately. I asked that Mr. Gore and Mr. Bush speak out publicly in opposition and structure their future administration to reverse the punitive laws.


It seems to be that many of these posts are for younger children than mine 11 and 15. I know the 15 already is aware she can make choices.

And it sounds like many here have been married/divorced before.

I just want to be able to talk to people within the same range of circumstances I mean if I am a meager poverty man
I shouldn’t be necessarily getting advice from either side if they are on the upper side of the track.

Nor if I were say on the high side of salary and this is first and last divorce I will have (guaranteed – I am not marrying again – will either live together or in sin) and these are my only children biologically that I am going to have it should make a difference to those who listen to me or whom I listen to

My story (but not in 10 words or less)

After 19 years marriage with 2 girls age 15 and 11 (present data) I realized that the marriage was over. I had a rough enough time admitting it to myself – it was even tougher to tell my soon to be ex. Do to ‘help’ we went on from 2 weeks after mothers day till late September. I had seen a counselor, she met with him and I once and then I went to look through my options and divorce was one of them. Me being a unconscious person and wishing to save money so that it could be used towards excessive bills still outstanding and other items had read about mediation.

In fact the counselor I was seeing strongly (not emphasized enough) suggested mediation. It would disrupt the family unit the least. He stated imfatically that the moment it goes to court it is over – no one comes out a winner and it gets worse as each ideration goes on. So I was informed, I contacted a lawyer I asked general questions regarding different subjects including divorce,bankruptcy, support etc. So I was at least stupid but not ignorant.

An incident occurred in which my ex to be needed medical attn. she mentioned it to the dr who recommended this one specific counselor (I won’t forget her ever).

So I was dragged into it. I say dragged because my mind was already made up I just wanted it to get to mediation and overwith.

so we went to this counselor who basically was stupid and asked me all the questions and nothing to the ex. I was paying for this and it was getting to be a real waste and we were getting no where and fast. It was time to take the situation back

…… to be continued

Now we need to get a similar arrangement with state appellate court

Now we need to get a similar arrangement with state appellate court opinions. In IL our Supreme Court established Supreme Court Rule 23 which allows an appellate court to issue a non-precedential, unpublished ruling.

Essentially, it means the opinion isn’t published in those books you see in the law library. Because it isn’t published means it can’t be cited as legal precedent in any other case. It allows the appellate court to issue the most outrageous, one-of-a-kind rulings without those opinions ever seeing the light of day.

In my own case, the Second Appellate District Court of Illinois ruled that domestic violence is NOT a factor that a judge has to consider before awarding sole custody to a confessed spouse abuser.

If published, that opinion would stand decades of legal precedent on its collective ear, and would have feminist groups marching on Springfield. But mine was a Rule 23 opinion, and no one else can read it, and no other case which came after mine can cite the ruling as precedent.

This gives an appellate court tremendous power to bend or ignore facts, to ignore the law, or to make up the law as they go along.

Trial court judges know their equally bizarre and outrageous rulings can also be upheld on appeal without the ruling making it into the law books.

Since the IL Supreme Court is not obligated to accept every case which litigants try to appeal from the appellate courts, a Rule 23 ruling is a ‘de facto’ red flag to the state Supreme Court. If it’s a Rule 23 opinion, the state Supreme Court simply won’t touch the case, and will deny a litigant’s leave to appeal. That buries the opinion back in that dark underbody of law with all the other unpublished Rule 23 opinions.

Personally, I think this ruling by the federal circuit courts is still only a half-measure on the way to opening up the judiciary.

Instead of allowing citation of unpublished opinions, the courts should abolish unpublished opinions completely. Under this new relaxed rule, it is still a huge burden for a litigant to find a specific point of law in the ocean of unpublished opinions. Because they aren’t indexed in a law book, the litigant’s attorney is forced to sift through what could be thousands or even tens of thousands of unpublished opinions looking for that one useful nugget.

It all goes back to something my Dad would say. He’d tell me, “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want to read about in tomorrow’s newspaper.”

Thanks for the compliment

The State is Florida and although courts discourage it for very minor children, it is usually possible if the children have reached a certain maturity level and want to express their preference. His children, at the time, were 13 and 12, and they were willing to testify in court that they wanted more frequent visitations with their dad, that they had been prevented from calling their dad (even collect) when they were at their mom’s house, etc.

As much as we all try to avoid having our kids get involved in these malicious disputes b/w the ex-wife, she certainly involves them, so we need to start making our children aware of the fact that they have a legal and moral RIGHT to have a close relationship with their father and second mom if they so choose. Oftentimes, ex-wives will tell the children “well, you can’t see Daddy 4 times a week because the Judge said you could only see him every other Saturday.” Of course she doesn’t tell the kid that that was her doing and that he could “undo” it.

Also, when the ex completes her financial affidavit be sure she does not include any expenses for any subsequent children she had from another man. The ex-wives, in their attempts to appear financially bankrupt, will include all sorts of things like day care expenses for a child they had with another man (my hubby’s ex tried this. If an ex-wife attempts to declare that she pays the entire rent, utilities, etc. and is married, then she’ll have to include her husband’s income in there as well.

Most, of course, don’t want to do that so they back up a little.

What to do about my truck?

I signed a lease three years ago, and it is due Feb 16 of this year.

The dealership told me that I have to pay off the remaining balance in order to keep the truck or talk to the financial company and see what they could do for me. I called the company and they told me that they could not finance me because of my credit score. So I’m going to the bank and see what they can do for me.

I currently have three credit cards and two gas cards, and after talking with my parents, they said the gas cards are what is bringing down my score. I’m not sure if that’s it, but I was wondering what other options there might be out there if the bank doesn’t go through.

Monthly vs. Bi-Weekly vs. Monthly mortgage payment

I’m considering paying my mortgage on a Bi-Weekly frequency. I understand how that help pay down the principal quicker (extra month’s pymt/yr).

What I am wondering is there any advantage in paying the same annual amount, but spreading the payment over 52 weeks? Does the weekly payment decrease the interest acrued, and if so is it significant enough.

With auto-transfers from bank it’s no extra work on my part whether it’s monthly, bi-weekly, or weekly, so is there any financial incentive, assuming I am going to pay the same annual amount regardless of the frequency?

I realize the biggest factor is how the interest is calculated each month, what is the industry norm?

Thanks for your help.

Financial Resolutions?

Hi everyone!

Does anyone have any New Year’s Resolutions related to finances? I always feel like a new calendar gives me a clean slate to set some goals. Mine are pretty simple: start paying down my debt (and I’ll start with the smallest balance, to get that instant gratification going) and donate what I can every month to a food bank near me.

I figure I’m not that far away from needing a food bank myself right now, so I’ll try to make it a little easier for them to keep helping people.

Anyway, Happy New Year!

I’m going to keep working on the baby steps this year. Due to various things I’m back to #1, saving the baby emergency fund. All my other bills are up to date so I can handle the minimums.

Definitely fling some her way

LOL on the cactus. Definitely fling some her way. Anyway, I can’t believe this matter. This world is getting dumber and dumbest! When my husband had his income imputed (when he was REALLY only making a few hundred over $18,000) and his ex-wife claimed she suspected he had money stashed away in safe deposited boxES, etc., the judge, instead of reducing the child support – tacked on the money in arrearage to the child support and my husband, with no attorney present, walked out of that courtroom with an $800 a month child support payment, as well as attorney’s fees for her high-priced attorney. I was livid when he got home with that news.

Since he really, really didn’t have any money (at that time, he only made enough money weekly to make his car payment, pay 2 of his old credit cards, buy gas and support his own cigarette habit.) I had no choice but to start taking overnight payday loans and making the $800 per month payment and ended up having my year-old car repossessed and defaulted on my Visa payment and a personal surety loan because I couldn’t afford to pay $800 per month toward his child support AND make my car, credit card and loan payments. I had been faithfully paying on that car for a year without being late even once, and in just the stroke of a motion for contempt, my excellent credit and my car went down the drain. What really, really aggravates me is that at that time, her husband was making more than $60,000 annually and she was making around $25,000, so they were living well and then on top of that getting $800 from me.

Although we were not rich, as a single mother (with NO child support ever (at my request!)) I was able to provide my son with a comfortable life and his weekends were pretty normal where he got money for entertainment, we rented movies, we went out to dinner every once in a while, etc. Because of my husband’s situation, and my having to make his ridiculous child support payments, my life and my son’s life went from 10 to 0 in just days! On top of that, even though we incurred a lot of expenses in traveling to and from Orlando (where they lived at the time) and purchasing clothes for them, enrolling them in expensive summer camps and in bowling leagues, etc. during the summer they were with us – I STILL HAD TO SEND THE WENCH $800 PER MONTH!!!!!! I don’t know who I had more passion for: loving my husband or hating his ex-wife.

If I had to do it all over again, having had my (first ever) new car repossessed, my credit ruin, my son deprived, and my finances sucked dry by a selfish, malicious ex-wife, I would NOT have made the payments. I would have told my husband to just let the bastards put him in jail and see how much money they were going to get out of him then!

AR Trust

Has anyone ever heard of or dealt with, AR Trust? I found them, and have given them $500 a month for four months, for help with unsecured credit card debt.

I haven’t heard anything about any settlements yet, but they say they’re close to a settlement with two creditors.

It’s nice that they have given me an adapter for my phone, and when creditors call, I switch them to the adapter and they get a recording that says to stop calling, call their number.

What made you think of a “deed in lieu” as a solution?

Have you listed your home for sale?

Have you missed any payments?

Have you opened up discussions with WAMU?

Have you spoken to them about refinancing your debt?

Typically a short sale would be a last resort for a mortgage company. You would need to put together some compelling documentation regarding current local FMV (Fair Market Value) for the mortgage company to consider a short sale.

You are not in a unique position in today’s economy and housing market and it’s not your fault! It absolutely makes no sense to pay interest on a loan that the value of the home does not support. My experience is that because WAMU is in financial trouble themselves they are very difficult to negoiate with. The likelyhood of them accepting a deed in lieu is remote because they already have too many non performing assets. I would get the house on the market “For Sale by Owner” – Realtors likely won’t list because their is no equity to pay their commission fron.

After you’ve missed two payments WAMU will begin discussing from a loss mitigation stand point. 1st try for a loan modification. This is a long shot but worth a try. It’s unlikely they will reduce principal on the loan, but nothing ventured nothing gained. If that doesn’t work ask if they will accept a short sale at a price the market will bear. Then conduct a private auction and accept the highest bid contingent upon bank approval. If this doesn’t work out then go to and consider their services. If you need more advice and help please feel free to contact me privately.

Mortgage advice needed

We owe $190K on a home in San Bernardino that is worth less than $119K. Should we just turn it in for a deed in lieu? The payments are about $1900K a month and we could only rent it out for about $1500. Do you think WAMU will accept less than what we owe rather than a deed in lieu??? Has anyone had any luck with WAMU or can suggest a good lawyer to help us negotiate the principle down or anything like that???

Anyone have any luck negotiating the principle of the loan down??? Thanks!!!

I worked for a mortgage credit company for a while

Really, your only option is to call GE Bank – explain what happened and request that they remove the late payment flag from their records. If you’ve already paid that bill plus the next bill, that’d probably help convince them. If the rep who answers the phone can’t make this change, ask for a supervisor/manager and escalate up.

The credit bureaus won’t help you. Because in truth, you did pay it late. They don’t care why.

Also if you gave the current address on your credit application but they still used an old address it should be negligence on the part of GE money bank and you could threaten to sue them for defamation of character if they don’t cooperate.

Late Payment Blues

I’m looking for advice on how to get a creditor to remove a negative entry on my credit report. I recently applied for credit at a tire store (Discount Tires) for the purchase and installation of tires. I was approved for the credit and was told by the store manager that I would receive a bill in the mail. 45 days go by and I haven’t received any bills and thought it strange but not not alarming.

Yesterday I received a notice from my credit monitoring service that a negative entry has posted to my credit profile. It was a 30 days late payment notice from GE Money Bank. I went back to the tire store and inquired about my credit application. Turns out the tire store used an old address (3 years removed from my current address) and apparently the bill and anything else from GE Bank, went to my old address.

In hindsight, I realize I should have checked into not receiving the bill sooner. Lesson learned. Bottom line, I need to figure out a way to get this late entry off my credit profile. Any suggestions?

I found this video:

I actually intend to pay this bill in full when I contact GE Bank in the morning. I’m hoping that they will honor my request to have the entry removed from my file, especially if I let them know I’ll keep the account open, if they do. Shamefully, this was credit I really didn’t need and cash could have and should have been my method of payment.

This has more to do with credit

This has more to do with credit rather than debt itself. I have good credit aside from one 300 dollar payment (now paid). I thought it had been paid off a few years back but it turns out about $300 was outstanding.

Not knowing it was and having moved, it is now listed as bad debt on my credit file. My question is does this essentially prevent me from accessing credit until it’s off, or does it just adversely affect my rates for things like mortgages?

I am afraid that I won’t be able to get any credit at all until the 7 yr time frame has passed by and its removed. Any advice or insight would be appreciated.

I can understand the position you are in

What I would do since you are shy would be to write letters to each of your issuers stating the situation you are in. Make sure you make copies and send them to each of the credit reporting agencies so this way everyone has a copy. Right now your greatest goal is to keep a roof over your head and food on the table for your family. I would seek some legal advice to have the collectors get off your back. If you know anyone who is an attorney that will assist you with the calls from the collectors it will take alot of stress of your daily life. I don’t know the laws of Canada with regards to collection agency calls.

All I know, is that collection agencies make money when they receive money and they normally will do everything legally possible to get money from you so they can get paid. That is the basic jist of collection agencies. If you don’t currently have the money to pay them, then you can’t give them anything and they will just have to wait. Don’t buckle to them if you can’t afford to make payments. I hope this helps…Just remember, explore your legal options and if you have a friend that you can seek legal advice from…explore it.

Advice needed re. negotiating w/ credit card companies

I am looking to negotiate a settlement with four different Canadian credit cards and get them paid off in monthly installments. We owe about $14,000 total… $6000 + $4000 + $2000 + $2000. I’ve been paying on them for years, more than a decade, in two cases, and I am just sick of them. One card (the $4000 one) has sent my account to collections, and they have sent letters offering a settlement of 70% of the $4000. We have six children, and my husband is the sole earner, but he actually has a broken back and is struggling with depression and things are very, very tight for us right now.

I got behind in payments for a month or so and things just snowballed, and now I would be able to start regular payments again but the late fees and catch-up payments are insurmountable. Now they’ve cranked up the interest rates, and I am at a loss to know what to do. Can anyone give me some advice as to how to begin? Also, I am very shy, and I find it extremely difficult to talk to people over the phone because I wind up crying and hanging up, which is terribly embarrassing. I can write, though, so I’m wondering if it might be possible to do things in writing?

I succeeded in paying the car payment online today….

and have an opportunity for $180 income for four hours work this weekend as well, which should get this debtor thru bills due Christmas day and the 27th.

The rent has to come from regular job income which isn’t enough by the first and I have no idea where the personal property tax income is coming from but I am into one day at a time and I still have 49days solvency today.

I will work on things that I can change to make the needed income appear before Jan 1, 2019.

Further information about a collection agency and questions

I received a response to my inquiry to an attorney in Fresno regarding a debt on which they are trying to collect. They sent me the bill that indicated the account was charged off in September, 2003. They also sent me a Bill of Sales indicating the collection agency had bought the account in March, 2015.

I got these documents from the attorney who has been mainly dealing with my mother’s estate (and I got a summons during that time). The only other attorney I have is also a family friend (as is the first). Neither attorney seems to know much about this stuff.

Anyway, I’d like to ask if I’m relieved from the debt due to the Statute of Limitations (which I believe is 4 years here in California). From some other searching, it appears this will stay on my credit report until at least 2010.

Finally, is the charge-off bill (with my name and address) sufficient proof that I owe the debt? I would think they would have to present signed contracts or something of that nature.

Thanks to everyone and hope you had a great holidays.